Why Are We Still Friends?
by Kei Jones
Summary: Your arm locks with one of ours and you hold onto both of us – it’s a balancing game that you’re a master at. For now we are both equals but right now – you belong to him and it’s hard just being friends with you.


Why Are We Still Friends?

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight characters because there'd be a Blackwater ending. Or at least the 4th movie would have a Blackwater ending causing my BLACKWATER SISTERS (and brothers, if you're out there) to stand up and scream, "OH MY GOD, BLACKWATER!" Another girl stands up and screams, "BLACKWATER FOREVER!" First girl, "WE'LL TALK AFTER THE CREDITS!"**

**LOL. Well at least that's how I'd react thus embarrassing my sister who most likely still will continue to be a closet fan.**

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We do almost everything  
That lovers do  
And that why's it's hard  
Just to be friends with you

I stand on the beach just looking out at the crashing waves. It's a rare sunny and warm day in La Push meaning that everyone is out enjoying the warmth without bothering with a jacket or umbrella. "JAKE! JAKE!" My heart skips a beat as I turn around to see _you_ running towards me. I can't help the stupid grin that spreads across my face as you race Seth to reach me first. You're wearing a dark green bikini while carrying your surfboard and I swallow the lump in my throat. "You ready for your first lesson?" You ask reaching me easily as you plant your surfboard into the sand. I nod my head quickly not trusting my voice to betray me and make me sound like your 12-yr old brother. Seth arrives panting heavily but you've already begun my _private_ lessons and we both shoo Seth away telling him to just have fun.

I watch closely as you lie down on the surfboard and show me the proper technique to stand up with wiping out. This is a usual hobby of ours. On sunny days we get together and try to learn something from the other. I've showed you how to change oil. You've showed me how to bake your double-stuffed chocolate brownies with almonds. The list goes on and on. I don't think you realize it but doing _this_ with you now means so much to me. Gone are the days of us casually hanging out thanks to that boyfriend, Samuel Uley, of yours. He's the vicious Rottweiler that keeps all guys at bay. I try my best to hide my frown as I see _him_ come walking down the beach with a surfboard tucked underneath his arm. Our eyes lock and I can tell he's just as pleased with my presence around you as I am with his. You get up running to him and as much as I hate to see your excitement with his arrival – I can't deny that I don't mind the view of you running away.

I don't bother hiding my smug smile as you quickly walk up and snatch the board from underneath his arm. You quickly thank him for the favor and dismiss him as if he was nothing. That is what he is and should be to you – _nothing_. He glares at me as you're now running towards me laughing – he's already forgotten. Sam leaves without another word and I turn my full attention back to you, my world, my sunshine, my best friend. "_This_ is for you." You declare proudly and I actually turn my attention to the surfboard marveling at it. It's huge, much bigger than the one we've been practicing on and comment on it. You just laugh and tell me that it's because "you're going to be huge one day. I just know it." I beam up at you because even though right now you have me beat by a couple of inches you don't see just some little kid in front of you. It's in my three favorite colors: black, red and green. You joke about the color scheme but all I can do is marvel because, because I know that you've made it specifically for me.

Not many of our classmates know that you're a master when it comes to woodwork – a skill you've picked up from your father. I know for a fact that up until just a few minutes ago that you had only made four boards. Two were just trials and then the last two are the ones that you and Seth each own. My heart swells as I run my hand over the smooth board realizing that you've spent hours on a gift just for me. "I love it." I breathe out even if it's not exactly what I want to say to you. _I love you_. You give me a quick peck on the cheek telling me thank you and welcome all at once and then we spend the rest of the day surfing. There seems to be just the two of us in the whole world and honestly, you're the only girl I have eyes for.

I smile when you begin blushing profusely when people comment on how 'cute of a couple' we make together. I agree with them and just when I'm about to hold your hand and close the gap – _he_ reappears. We quickly square off as you're distracted by my sister and silently make vows to not lose to the other. I defiantly take your hand drawing your attention and I watch with dark narrow eyes as _he_ moves to stand on your other side. Your arm locks with one of ours and you hold onto both of us – it's a balancing game that you're a master at. For now we are both equals but right now – you belong to him and it's hard just being friends with you.

And every time your heart is broken  
By the fool I want you to know  
That it hurts me too  
It's hard to wipe your tears away  
Knowing you should be with me, tell me

I quickly run to your house after hearing my Dad talking to your dad about that asshole that has broken your heart. He's up and left town without a word. I run all out cutting through the woods despite the rumors and whispers of a giant black bear wandering around. I don't care because all I want is to get to you. I arrive desperately out of breath and it catches when I see your bloodshot red eyes. They are puffy because you've been crying – _he _made you cry. Your cheeks are flushed and despite the sadness radiating off you I still believe you to be the most beautiful thing in the world. My body stiffens as you fall into me crying out for _him_ – again. This isn't the first time that we've done this before. The last time he forgot your birthday then there was your anniversary and the incident of kissing Margaret Crow at Quil's house party. He always hurts you and it hurts me too. I hold you tightly telling you, 'it's okay' and 'don't cry, Lee' and 'you deserve better'.

Truth is, it's not okay. He should _always_ remember important dates involving you the way I do. I remember the day of our first kiss, March 8th of this year in my garage. I remember our 'this-is-not-a-date' date, November 11th, it was my birthday gift last year. We went to the movies and shared an ice cream cone because your idiot boyfriend made me spend all my birthday money on gas. I didn't say anything because I didn't want _his_ presence to ruin 'our' time together. I tell you _not_ to cry because you're only wasting tears on him – a worthless sack of shit, waste of space, air, skin and soul. At least I don't come out and say it just like that because then you'll defend him and we'll fight. I don't want fight right now because I'm enjoying the feel of you in my arms and pressed against my body too much. But, I truly mean it when I say, 'That you deserve better'. It's obvious that he doesn't know how to love you right and he definitely doesn't respect you. He goes around bragging about how good your body looks and taste. I would never tell anyone something so _special_ that you'd be willing to share with me. He takes you for granted and it hurts me because I know that I'd never hurt you like this – ever.

You seem to believe me as Samuel Uley becomes an almost forgotten memory. Instead of you and _him _walking home - you allow me to escort you home. I hug you more because without him around you're free to be affectionate with me – just like we've should've always been. I've even worked up the courage to kiss you again after walking you home after class. Our fingers are entwined and I know I should let go…but, I just can't. I've grown since that day on the beach and I have you beat by about four inches. I smile down at you and slowly close the gap in between us feeling your breasts brush against me – you're breathing heavily. You smile as I lean in waiting for you to come closer – giving me permission. I love you too much to make you do something that you don't want too. You close your eyes, leaning in and I capture your lips. This kiss, very much like our first, is sweet, warm, gentle and feels so right – as if our lips were meant for one another. Our moment is cut short as your dad opens the door quickly startling us into widening the gap. He tells you to go inside and me to go home but I notice the proud smile on his face as I bid him good bye.

Why, why are we still friends

When everything says

We should be more than what we are

Weeks later _he_ returns and you're back in his arms showering him with kisses and loving words. I glare at him as he smiles at me smugly and my eyes widen as he mouths, 'never again'. Almost as if he knows about the kiss we've shared on your porch – not even Embry's mom knows about the kiss and she's the Rez's biggest gossiper. I feel anger as my loyalty and devotion is put on the backburner so that you can get back to _him_. I hate him but I love you…and yet you love him. It hurts to hear those words come out those beautiful lips that I've kissed recently.

And tell me why  
Every time I find someone that I like  
We always end up being just friends

We slowly grow apart as you are now engaged to _him_. He walks around flaunting you and that _cheap_ piece of shit engagement ring that is on your left ring finger. I'd buy you – I can't even finish the thought. You're not meant for me despite the fact that everything says we should be more. A new girl moves into town – her name is Isabella Swan and she's Chief Charlie Swan's daughter. We used to play with her as kids but she's been gone for who knows how long. Seeing her for the first time is…well, it feels weird. There's something about her that intrigues me. She's so small, petite, fragile, pale and so uncoordinated. I never imagined walking down a simple set of steps could be so challenging. She's – she's _special_, I guess. But somehow I slowly start to fall for this Bella Swan but much like you she has a boyfriend already. While you were seeing my rival within the tribe; she was seeing my mortal enemy and it's funny because at the time I had no idea. She winds up brokenhearted – correction, she is completely and utterly obliterated when he leaves her. While you cried and bounced back seeking me out that same day – she sits up in a comatose state brooding and who knows what the hell else. But, I help heal her heart through my companionship.

It's not the same as comforting you. She doesn't run into my arms the way you have because she is afraid of falling in love again. Being around her is easy but getting close to her is a challenge. Honestly, I love the challenge and in the end I wind up as nothing than just her 'friend'.

I would hate for you to find somebody new  
Who you really love  
Cause it could mean losing you  
But am I a fool girl not to say  
If I'm always scared I'll lose you anyway  
Somehow someway I've got to choose  
Got to choose no matter if it's win or lose

Eventually everything calmed down. You were finally done with Samuel Uley. I was finally finished with Bella Cullen. You had chosen to follow me despite the fact that I was chasing after a girl who you blamed for most of your heartbreak. We were becoming friends again and the simplest actions had me smiling like that idiot again on the beach all those years ago. We confide in each other about our insecurities with love but we find strength in one another. I am surprised to find you hugging Embry one day out in the meadow and you allow him to run a hand through your hair. He kisses your forehead gently and runs off. I run home afraid of what I've just witnessed and what it could all mean. You show up sometime later with a warm smile on your face and I feel sick to my stomach because I know who has put it there. You force me outside by taking my hand and leading me down the street. I marvel at how despite my massive size your hand still fits in mine perfectly and look down at you wondering if you've noticed the same thing? As you tow me along I look around and notice people smiling at us. Do you hear them whispering how 'we just fit'?

Why, why are we still friends

When everything says

We should be more than what we are

You lead me to the beach and it is then that I notice that it's a sunny day in La Push. You say that it's been a while since we've surfed together – just the two of us. I hug you tightly because despite everything we've remained close. You know me better than I know myself and I want to get back to that point with you.

I don't want to be like your brother

I don't want to be your best friend

I only want to be your lover

When will this end?

If I told you that I want to be in you life?

Then you could be the woman in mine

Months later we're sitting on your couch watching a movie. You're curled up against me and I smile noticing how your eyes sparkle when you laugh. Your laughter is like music to my ears and I think back to a conversation you had with Seth about Embry.

_I've spent the night on the couch again just so that other then Sue and Seth the first thing you'll see in the morning is me. I slowly come to hearing you already in the kitchen with Seth as spoons clink against bowls. "What's going on with you and Embry?" Seth asks eating his bowl of cereal. I fight the urge to stay still to hear the answer._

"_Nothing." You answer laughing lightly. "Embry's my friend." _

"_But you two have gotten close." Seth keeps drilling._

"_Yea, but he's my pack brother and close friend. We love each other but not like that." _

"_What about Jake?" Seth asks you and you're silent. It seems like an eternity but it could've been only a couple of seconds._

"_Jake's my best friend. I love him too." I remain on the couch mulling over your words until Quil draws your attention to me._

That was weeks ago and after so many years – I'm tired of just being your friend. I want more. "Lee," I call your name and you slowly tear your eyes away from the screen to smile up at me. "I love you." I say deciding to cut right to the chase. I've dragged things out too much by not being upfront and honest with you. You look at me in surprise as I begin pouring out my heart to you. I remind you of our first kiss, our first date, fight and our reunion. Of all the times I've wasted chasing after Bella instead of you and most importantly how _this_ just feels too good to be nothing more than just a friendship.

You look down and I tell you that I _need_ you in my life as something more than just a 'friend'. My eyes widen as you look back up at me with _that_ old look in your eyes. It's the same look you gave me on May 17th when we kissed on your porch. I feel the corners of my lips twitch as _you_ lean into me waiting on me to kiss you. I lick my lips and capture yours with mine and kiss you lovingly and passionately. My heart swells as you agree as we pull apart to breath that you'll be the woman in my life.

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A/N: Well it's really funny what kind of inspiration hits you when you're home alone with some bourbon and your music list on shuffle. Ah, Nick Lachey, we met once on the Square and you're handsome in person. But that was 'Why Are We Still Friends' by hometown boy band 98 Degrees. ^-^ Now if only I could meet Taylor in person but then again I'd obviously make a fool of myself since I'd become nothing more than just some screaming idiot. -_-; And right now I'm so disappointed in myself because I was so busy plugging out my 2 other stories that I missed the Lopez Tonight show which was finally airing the Taylor Lautner segment. DAMN YOU...some sick, twist of Fate that made me lose all track of time and miss cutie Lautner. Sighs. So if anyone knows where I can find the video for it please let me know. ^-^ And now as usual you people know what to do. Leave a review and tell me what you think.

And just so you know no one likes the person who alerts and never says anything. =(

Nah, I'm kidding. I've been on my PSP reading but couldn't review but it'd be nice if you'd at least say 'hi' one day at least. Please, please, pwease? *bats eyelashes*


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